Go Girls Saturday Run Recap

For the first time in many weeks, all members of the Toronto Go Girls and the Gentlemen's Auxiliary were present at our Saturday morning run. We also welcomed Janice, a newcomer, to our group run. And so we hit the streets of Toronto in full force for a lovely fall run along Rosedale Valley Road (hereinafter known as "Death Valley") and then up through Cabbagetown and back to our Timothy's for coffee.

The Go Girls are pleased to announce that they will soon be adding a new dimension to the group's training regime: shinny hockey! T is already an avid hockey player and Olga plans to join the ranks of hockey-playing runners very soon. We were delighted to learn that Janice also skates and can likely be convinced to join T and Olga out on the ice. Yes, the Go Girls will soon have their very own "Punch Line". We now need a few more players: four, to be exact so that we can have five skaters plus a goalie and one sub. As luck would have it, we have four more runners: Joanne, Mariana, Carol, and Nana. It seems that we have a ready-made hockey team.

Of course, there are some obstacles to overcome in forming the Go Girls Toronto Hockey Team (hereinafter the "Riff Rats"). For example, at least one of our players does not really know how to skate, although she assures us that she is "familiar with the concept and understands the principle of skating". The Leafs seem to exhibit a similar approach to hockey (i.e., the Leafs are familiar with the concept and understand the principles) and they play in the NHL. So surely this lack of practical training in skating will not be a barrier for the Riff Rats.

Another player insists that she only figure skates since she is a "lady". However, I believe that we can overcome her aversion to playing hockey if we print "Lady J" on her hockey jersey and if we treat her like a diva. For example, she should only have red and blue M&Ms in her dressing room and her hockey water bottle should be filled with Evian, not tap water. I am confident that if we give her a hockey stick and some real skates, she will be crushing people in the corners in no time.

Our Southern Belle objects to playing hockey on cultural grounds. This is easily resolved. We only need to advise our Belle that we will rat her out for un-Canadian behaviour and have her deported if she does not play with us. I think it will also help if we tell her that she won't actually have to skate too much. Maybe she can play goalie. (Isn't it a tradition to put the people who don't know any better or who show up last in net if a team doesn't have a goalie?)

As for the last member of our squad, Carol, I believe the biggest concern may be springing her from work. Again, I have a plan. We simply send in the goon squad, aka the Punch Line, aka the Janice-Olga-T line to rescue Carol from her office. Then we use her Blackberry as the puck for the first period. Problem solved.

Alain, our token male, can serve as the coach/bench door opener/water boy/skate tie-guy. Et voila! A ready-made shinny hockey team. Look out, Toronto Maple Leafs! The Go Girls Riff Rats are here and I think we can beat you (as can every other granny hockey team out there)!